And then I found out how hard it is to really change. Even hell can get comfy once you’ve settled in. I just wanted the numb inside me to leave. No matter how fucked you get, it’s always there when you come back down. The funny thing is, all I ever wanted, I already had. There’s glimpses of heaven in every day. In the friends that I have, the music I make, the love that I feel… I just had to start again.